Manly Corn on the Cob Recipe

Yes that golden goodness is ALL BUTTER

Here’s a method for preparing corn on the cob sure to please the manliest of men. You only need ten ingredients – corn, salt, pepper, and the last seven are all butter.

I was at a street fair celebration extravaganza in Hermosa Beach about a month ago. Among the vendors was a corn on the cob stand. They grilled decent cob. It was worth the four bucks they charged me. But they also lathered it with like fifty non-essential seasonings, i.e. mayo, sirracha, salt, red pepper flakes, blah blah blah. It was nothing like what my dad used to make as described below.  All those other stupid ingredients are so unnecessary when you load up on the one topping that actually matters; of course I’m talking BUTTER. 3 pounds of it to be precise.

This is how my dad grills cob, and my dad could kick your dad’s ass. When I was a kid, my family and bunch of other families we were friends with would go up north in Minnesota to Park Rapids for a week and rent cabins at this place called Isle O’ Dreams on Bad Axe Lake.

This place is heaven on earth – fishing, tubing, beach, video games and pool tables in the lodge, an open tab for ice cream, etc. Cannot recommend this joint highly enough if you are looking for somewhere to vacation and don’t have your own cabin.

Anyway, a memory came back to me when I was eating that cob at that stand in Hermosa. I remember my dad would drive into town each year and get one of those huge sacks filled with a 100 ears of corn straight off the farm. Then he’d get this huge grill fired up while the annual shuffleboard tournament was going on, and he’d start doling out the best cob anyone ever tasted. Here’s how it’s done. Without further ado, I give you the Agridude guide to roasting the perfect cob.

Step One

Buy 2x the amount of corn you think you want to eat. You and anyone else sampling your cob will consume at least two ears. The fresher the better. Advantage Midwesterners. The cobs must have the husks on.

Step Two

Soak the corn in water for a bit, maybe fifteen to thirty minutes. This will prevent the corn from burning up when you grill it, and help it steam a bit. No skinny dipping and no shucking yet.

Step Three

Fire up the Grill and drink beer, hopefully while playing shuffleboard, dummy board / cornhole, or ping-pong.

Step Four

Grill the corn with husk on, probably something like fifteen to twenty five minutes depending on how hot the grill is, turning frequently. You’ll know the cobs are done when they start to get blackened on the outside. But don’t let them get too dark.

While the corn is grilling, put 3 lbs of butter in a cast iron pot or something else that can go right on the grill. We used to use a coffee kettle thing that had a removable top. Ideally your butter melting vessel will be capable of fitting an entire ear of corn in it(foreshadowing). The butter should melt almost instantly. Make sure to stir the butter constantly because it will burn fast. Then pour it all into something like in the picture above or leave it if it is suitable for the upcoming described dunking procedure.

UPDATE – After reading this my Dad, a real OA (original agridude), was ashamed. I royally screwed up the buttering aspects of the recipe. He told me the real method is combining 1 lb of butter and water in a boiling vessle. The butter will melt as the water gets hot and then float to the top in a layer. So when you dunk, you dunk the tip down through the butter and into the water, but as you pull the corn back out, you pul it through the melted butter layered on top of the water. This leaves the corn totally buttered as before, but doesn’t waste precious butter that could otherwise be used as a topping for things like veggies, steaks, bread, etc. Also, he suggest using an empty coffee can with label removed and putting it right on the grill.

Step Five

Grab the corn off the grill. Yell in pain as your fingers are scorched. Shuck the corn. Grab corn by unpeeled husk. Then, dunk the WHOLE cob into the melted vat of golden goodness. If you don’t want to die instantly from heart trauma, hold the ear above the vat to let some of the butter drain off a bit.

Step Six

Season with enough salt to raise your blood pressure by at least ten points, then add a pinch of pepper.

Step Seven

Repeat steps five and six until you are ready to explode or you run out of corn.

4 thoughts on “Manly Corn on the Cob Recipe

  1. I must say, eating cob like this was very fun. I normally put some butter on a piece of bread and roll the corn on that to get butter on it. This eliminates the need for that and gets the entire ear covered.

  2. I enjoyed not only the thought of not missing one kernel of corn being soaked in butter, but ensuring you are buying enough corn. I’m checking out the cabin getaway as well… Northern MN is a hidden gem.

  3. Hi Honey (Grant), just wanted you to know that I was laughing so hard I had tears!
    You have such a great sense of humor. Your description brought great memories back to us too! Love you, Mom and Dad

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